Calgon.....

A little back story....
On January 13, I woke up and just didn't feel right. Started my morning ritual and I started having horrible, terrible pain in my lower right side. I assumed I had a bladder infection, so I went to urgent care. They diagnosed me with a kidney stone and sent me to the ER for blood work, CT scan, etc., all things they can't do. They did blood work, gave me pain meds and sent me home on Flagyl for an infection in my uterus, as during their exams they found polyps that I am to have biopsied on Wednesday.My boyfriend took me home, we ate, and I went back to sleep. I got up in time to take my "oldest" to work, but before we even had a chance to leave, I started feeling like I was going to be sick. Tim offered to take her to work, so I could rest. Almost as soon as he left with Lexi, the pains came. They were like labor pains, only worse. I told Tim I needed to go back to the ER and off we went. While there they gave us some options, one of which was going home with pain meds, or.be admitted for observation and kept comfortable. Because of what we had already been through, we opted for me to stay and be monitored. Thank God we did! Overnight I had a ton of RBC in my urine, my white count increased in my blood work and I developed a fever. I had injections of Dilaudid every two hours, and if my nurse ran even 15 minutes late with it, I was dying in pain. When the surgeon came in, he recognized I was getting worse and got me ready for surgery. I had my surgery that afternoon around 12-12:30. I got back to my room from surgery around 2:30. By 11 p.m. I was home and preparing to sleep in my own bed. 

Fast forward to January 18 and my youngest came to me and out of the blue told me she wanted to move to her dad's.  I shouldn't say it was totally out of the blue, as her behavior had changed as of late and she was starting to defend him and his wife more.  I felt like such a failure.  Apparently in her eyes, life was easier at her dad's.  This after she was just complaining about the way her dad was acting on the way to her most recent orthopedic appointment.  Apparently I care about her grades too much.  I guess I drove her to them.  Like I said, I kind of guessed it was coming because she is always quick to defend them.  As if that wasn't stressful enough, my doctor called shortly after that announcement to tell me that they ran pathology on my appendix and found a tumor.  It is/was malignant.  It's a caner that forms in the lungs, intestines and appendix.  I have a history of GI problems, so of course the concern is about my intestines.

OK fast forward to last night.  My youngest already has zeros in her grade book, so I asked if she had homework.  She got all bent out of shape, so my boyfriend and I tried to explain to her that she isn't in trouble, I was just reminding her in case she forgot.  She flipped out and said that is the exact reason she's moving to her dad's.  We tried to ask her why it's a bad thing if I'm trying to help her and be a parent, and she ran to her room crying.  No on yelled at her or anything like that, we just tried to talk to her.  My boyfriend is to the point where he is over my being disrespected by my kids, so he said if she wanted to cry and carry on and act like a baby, he was shutting to wifi off.  At that point she gave me her phone and said that if the wifi was off, there was no point in having her phone.  I took it to my bedroom, tossed it on my bed, and told my boyfriend he could turn the wifi back on.  I went back to making dinner.  I got a text message from my boyfriend asking me to come back to the room.  Apparently he threw her phone on my dresser and it lit up to a group message she had going on.  In it she was telling her friends she wanted to swear text me, that if we ever got married she wasn't going to the wedding, and if she did she was wearing a tank top and shorts.  As if those weren't bad enough, she also called my boyfriend a bastard.  I don't think I've ever made it from our bedroom to her bedroom faster than I did after seeing those text messages.  I took her her phone and advised her that next time she hands over her phone she may want to erase her text messages.  She said she didn't know what I was talking about, so I asked her about swear texting and all the other things I had read.  She tried saying that bastard was auto-correct. I asked her what could possibly have auto-corrected to bastard and she tried telling me that instead of swearing she likes to use gibberish and the gibberish must have corrected itself to bastard.  She said that the tank and shorts was a joke, which I told her is a joke that only her and I would understand because we witnessed it at a wedding not long ago from a rebellious child.  In the end of it she made the decision to go to her dad's tonight.  As in a few short hours.  I don't know that I am going to see her before then, so I am just an ocean of emotions right now.  

So here I am at work, wanting to be at home.  A co-worker told me that I looked pale, and I said no I am just stressed out.  If someone would have told me even a year ago that my baby girl would leave me for her father's house in another school district, almost another state, I would have told them they were crazy.....I guess I am the crazy one.